Dear Liza: I'm Lost


Dear Liza, I'm lost. I could really do with some advice. Help me?


Okay, so I'm going to be honest: you're not giving me much to go on here. But since feeling lost is something that I can identify with, I figured I'd dive in with a few speculations to see what the problem might be.

I'm guessing you're not physically lost, although that's a problem I struggle with a lot (directions and I are not friends put it that way). If this in fact the case then my blog is probably the wrong place for advice, and I'd suggest a hefty data plan and google maps. Okay, joking aside, let's explore why you might be feeling lost.

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Is it that the future seems scary? When I have most felt adrift in my life is usually when there a big decisions to be made about things like careers or relationships and I look around without a clue about which direction to take. At these times, turning to friends or loved ones who know me well has really helped. For one, the simple act of stating how lost I feel lessens the burden. For another, they might have some suggestions of potential plans that could excite you, knowing you as they do. This comes with a caveat, though. People do not exist in vacuums, and will probably project their own fears/desires/hopes onto you a little. The extent to which generally depends on who's talking but it's always something to be mindful of. The best people to turn to in these situations are those that can listen with an open mind and ask questions to explore your feelings. Delving into what you want can be a scary process but with the right person, things might become a whole lot clearer. 

If it's the present that's puzzling you, it might be worth going through your life and looking at how you feel about all the different factors. What excites you, who makes you feel happy to be alive, where do you feel the most yourself? Focusing on the good and finding ways to increase their presence in your life might helped you feel more deeply rooted.  

Finally, if you're not sure why you're lost, one way to explore these feelings, especially if you want to keep it to yourself, is to write about it. Simply sit down with a blank page/screen and start to write. What comes out may surprise you, but it's a great chance to allow your deeply buried concerns to rise to the surface. 

Either way, both talking and writing – either publicly or privately – are excellent ways of jumping into the concerns. Don't run from them, if there's one thing I've learned it's that with feelings like this it's best to accept them for what they are. Plenty of people feel lost at various points in their life, I can't tell you how many crying sessions I've had over the way my life was unfolding. I look back now wondering what all the fuss was about, but at the time they were feelings that needed to be processed.

 I wish you the greatest of luck moving forward, and hope that you find your way. But even if you don't, remember this: some of the most interesting experiences arise from being physically or metaphorically lost. Embrace it, learn from it, and enjoy it, and soon you'll find your way. 

P.S If there was more specific advice you were looking for, feel free to resubmit but in the meantime I hope this was helpful!

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