When Love Isn't Enough
The past month has been extremely hard, as I have had to accept that the relationship I was in, whilst amazing in so many ways, wasn't entirely healthy and that we were both too young to settle for that. We are on good terms, but there is a heart breaking acceptance that sometimes things just don't work out, no matter how much you want them to.
Going through this has reminded me of the devastating realisation I had, aged 19, that sometimes love isn't enough and I don't think it's something we talk about.
Growing up we are inundated with stories of couples who have triumphed despite the odds; the romance we read in books and films always end happily, even if there are a multitude of reasons why they shouldn't. Whilst this makes for a great story, it doesn't acknowledge the sad truth that often it won't work despite loving someone, and it takes a lot of courage to admit that. No matter how much one fundamentally likes or loves someone else, life can get in the way and it's okay to accept it and move on.
I think the reason why I wanted to address this is because the last time I was in this position I felt like such a failure. It took me nearly a year of berating myself for not trying harder, for giving up, for feeling like I'd let myself down, before I finally realised that it was a good decision to make. Although I still feel sad when I think of who and what I left behind, I can now see all the good that has come from the freedom the break up brought me, and that essentially the cost was worth it. This time I feel differently, I see that together we are choosing the harder path, but one that will allow us both the space to grow and be happier. It feels incredibly empowering, and by being more positive about it I can keep the friendship that I so desperately don't want to loose.
So I want you to know that if you are in a similar situation I admire you. It's hard and it's sad, and it takes bravery not to cling on to the bitter end. This doesn't mean it will always feel like it's the right choice, but I am sure when I have finished crying over every love song I hear (seriously half my iPhone is a no go zone right now) I will look back and be glad for every step in the relationship, especially the end.