Hey, It's Okay
Does anyone else have a punitive voice in their head? The mean one that tells you what you should and shouldn’t do. I’m not talking about a moral compass here, that’s a useful little part of your mind that keeps you on the right track. No I mean the nasty one, the one that makes you feel guilty for no reason or makes you feel inferior even when you’re trying really hard.
Since mine seems to be a little louder lately, and I’m constantly having to shout it down, I thought I’d make a list of the things that it’s okay to do, think, and feel. Like so many of these posts I probably need to hear it more than you, but I hope that if you sometimes struggle you’ll take notice and ease up on yourself.
So hey, it’s okay….
If you can’t work as hard as others in the gym: You showed up, isn’t that fantastic? Everyone has different fitness levels and you can work as hard as you like. If you feel motivated that’s great, but if you don’t then don’t make yourself work so hard that you hate it. Even a lazy ride on the elliptical whilst watching television is something to be proud of.
You need to rest: We can’t be productive all the time. Rest is important and allows us to function better when we are working. If you need to nap, nap. If you want to read, read. Take the time to look after yourself and you’ll be far more productive when you come back to it.
You make mistakes: Everyone, I repeat everyone, makes mistakes. It’s part of being human, the ability to get things wrong. Mistakes a great chance to learn more and to reassess what you want.
To feel lonely: You know when you’re sadly scrolling through social media, thinking that everyone has more friends than you? I’m willing to bet those people too have experienced the same thing.
To want to be alone: Wanting space doesn’t mean you don’t like or the love the people you’re around. A lot of people recharge when they’re alone, and it can be a really healthy thing to do. If you live with someone else, like I do currently, find a space in a park or a time when they’re not home to get the space you need.
To be needy: Sometimes we need a little extra love, and it’s perfectly okay to tell your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend that. Ask them for a hug, or just explain that you don’t want to be alone. The people you love are usually very responsive to needs and it’s good to communicate them.
To leave behind friendships: Friends come and go, and sometimes its better to move on. We change and evolve so much as people that we can’t expect our relationships to be a constant. I have friends that I’ve known since I was very young, and friends that I’ve just met, but as I step into each new phase of my life I find only a few of the previous ones remain close. What I have with them is very special, and I understand why the others haven’t worked out quite like that.
To not have life figured out yet: I don’t. I have vague plans and certain companies that I adore but the future is a great big hazy mess. But you know what, I’m enjoying living day to day. I don’t have to have my whole life figured out to make plans for the next step. If it turns out I should have done something earlier then I’ll find a way to squeeze it in at a later date. It will all work out in the end.
To be irritable: We all go through different moods and people can’t be happy 24/7. I’ve been grouchy this week but I’m trying to recognise that it’s me and give myself time and space away from triggers. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re irritable, just take a deep breath and try to find an activity that will make you happy.
To not have one specific skill: Do you ever feel like you can do a lot of things okay, but nothing spectacular? That’s okay, you still have skills! It’s easy to think that everyone else has a special talent and you don’t but whatever you’re good at is worthwhile, and I’m willing to bet there’s a few things.
To be you: You are you, nobody else. Embrace that fully. Find out what makes you happy, and do it. You can't be anyone else, but that's okay because you get to be this wonderful unique individual. Love yourself, accept yourself, and live will be so much easier and more rewarding.