Social Stagnation and Writer's Block
If you were sat on the inside of my brain right now – which is a weird thought, but bear with me – it would look pretty chaotic.
In one corner there would be a beeping list of reminders, constantly notifying me of the next meeting/class/assignment that I have to complete. Elsewhere happy thoughts and panicky thoughts would be swirling around, competing for space. Finally, in the corner, a little box would be residing entitled "ideas for blog posts". Open up the lid and you find... nothing. A sprinkling of dust, maybe a note or two that has been scrawled out furiously, but nothing that would reasonably constitute something you would want to read.
What I'm trying to say, in an overly elaborate way, is that I have writers block, and I have it bad. I could blame a lack of posting on my busyness, and I am of course busy as I enter the first semester of my final year at university. But I don't want to make excuses, plenty of bloggers out there juggle student life, jobs and blogs and do a far better job of it. No, I just seem to have fallen out of love with the process and that kind of breaks my heart. There are times when I'm bursting at the seams with words I want to share with you, but right now the whole process feels like a chore. I don't like my site anymore, it's nowhere near as good as the blogs I am reading and that doesn't inspire me, it just leaves me feeling down. This, combined with a massive drop in engagement on my social media channels, has left me wondering: is it worth pushing through?
I want to do better, I don't want it to end here. To the people who keep coming back, thank you. I don't feel like I'm giving you what you deserve but the fact that my traffic hasn't completely crashed and burned is a small consolation. If anyone has suggestions please share them: I may love giving advice, but I love receiving it even more.
In the meantime the only thing I can do is write, in whatever way that may be. I was working on an article for The Gazelle recently and getting my thoughts on paper was like walking uphill with weights tied to my shoes, but I did it. Not only did I get it published in time, but I also received fantastic feedback from friends and peers who could identify with me. That taught me a lot about pushing through and inspired me to share my internal battle, rather than neglecting this site as I have sometimes been wont to do.
The mind is a funny thing, and I am doing all I can to invite those escaping ideas back into my brain. Perhaps it is a simple as rereading Big Magic – the bible for us creative folks – or maybe it is needing to create a better schedule blogging. Whatever the solution becomes I will share it, I promise, for I know that writers block is something that plagues us all. The words are there, and they will emerge, it's just about having faith in the process.
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